Ticket to Heaven

I grew up in a small Baptist church. I had this view that when I became a Christian that it came with this all important "ticket to heaven". As long as I sat quietly and didn't get too dirty then someone would be by later to take me in. My Christian life was a waiting room.

It felt selfish. “If you don’t mess up, you get a reward.” Yet I was being told from the pulpit that even if I was thinking the wrong thing then I was messing up. It all seemed impossible. If I think something then it is the same as doing it? Do you realize what goes on in this head? How could I just sit and try to not to think and try not to do? Is that really what God wants?

So I did what it seems a lot of good Christian young people do when it comes time to start their own life. I quit. I never got involved with a church after going away to college. I didn't loose faith in God, I just didn't feel like there was anyway I could measure up to the church criteria.

So I became that "C&E Christian" - the one that shows up on Christmas & Easter and tries to be a "good person" the rest of the time. I mean after all I already had my ticket, right? Just check back in now and then to see if anything had changed. Nope, still seems the same rules apply. Those C&E sermons told me as long as I had a ticket the rest of the sermon was about those that didn't. My job was to try to stay awake and if everyone cooperated we would all be released in time for lunch.

When I begin to attend church on a more full time basis a few years ago, the light was slowly turned on for me. Christianity is not something to tie us down but to release us into what we were created for. It is not about what we shouldn't do but instead what we have the potential to do. As I begin to listen to Godly men and women, I learned God’s desire for me was more then having faith in a trip to Heaven. Yes Jesus came to die for me but his life was not one of simply waiting for the cross. His life was active – daily spending time with God the Father then going to where the people were and ministering to their needs.

To be honest, not sure what I am trying to say with this post but I feel like there must be other people out there stuck in that waiting room. If you are, I hope this blog helps but most importantly I pray you find wise Christian friends who are able to speak truth into your life. Don't just wait. Don't fear the failure. Go live the life God gave you specifically to live.

The Sea

“If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea” - Antoine De Saint Exupery

How often do we as Christians wrap ourselves in the details of building the ship instead of casting the vision of the endless immensity of the sea? If God's endless immense love is not communicated then the acts of discipleship in ones life will never find their target. I blush at how often I have beat the drum of reading the Bible or finding your quite time or getting involved in service but spent too little time kendeling a desire to be like Christ.

What is it like for even a small moment in time when my heart is touched by God? Why does the creator of an entire universe allow me to draw near? Where does this amazing peace come from when everything seems to fall apart around me? What happens when my eyes open to see what God is really doing around me? What does it really feel like when God connects my heart with another heart to share their load?

That is what I need to find out how to say. Then reading the Bible, quite time, service, solitude, worship and prayer will be joyous simple tasks that build the ship to float along on God's endless sea.

Yes, Lord

When you give your life to Jesus it really is just your first ‘YES’. It is the beginning of a life of saying ‘YES’ to God. Saying I trust you with my life. - Erwin McManus

A true Christian life is a long series of yeses to God. We should always be ready to say YES! The first yes means very little without the next one and the next one and the next. Aren’t the acts of discipleship simply preparing a heart to listen and respond ‘YES’? If I sit back in the glow of my first yes to Christ and never listen for God’s direction or follow the path Jesus laid out, what purpose have I served? The hard heart is one who refuses to say yes and rejects that God’s infinite understanding of life can be trusted to do what is right for me.

O Lord, prepare me to hear without doubt and act with out stipulation.

Change

Another New Year. Why do we use the change of a calendar to motivate change in us?

Perhaps there is benefit as we move toward a specific point in time to reflect and prepare if any real difference is going to be made from a resolution to transform. The end of each year stirs the need to evaluate where I have been and seek guidance on where I should have gone instead. I have to say 2007 seems to have been almost a year of “Spiritual A.D.D” for me. Any long term development was frequently interrupted by the next bright shiny object that distracted me. Ironically, I may have been more consistent in starting each day with Bible and prayer but where was the growth?

Discipleship, spiritual formation, Christian maturity, what ever one names it, requires a pattern of focus that seems just beyond my reach recently. Was it beyond my reach or was it really just my failure to stretch? This is not a science, nothing to chart or measure growth like the marks on the door frame when I was getting taller as a child. Just a question, “Am I different then I was last year at this time?” My heart aches at the answer.

Just Another Day

Woke up this morning in a new world. The world of 49. It’s my birthday. That day of the year that passes like any other day for everyone else but is cause for me to reflect on my life. A look backward to all the great memories and blessing that have been provided but also feel a pang of guilt due to the volume of time wasted. Then I turn and look forward to thoughts of what I will do with the remainder of my time.

I do not know if God has it planned that I live to 49 and one day or another 30 years. However, I do know that number is out there. Should I scramble to accomplish as much as possible or is it a part of my life where I become comfortable in being who God has made me to be. I see no large world impact from my being here. No buildings or structures taking my name. My success will be limited in the views of this world but should I not be focused on significance instead of success?

What can I contribute to others that will make a difference after my time is gone? Are there lives that need just a touch that will show the face of God in a new light? Is there a kid that needs to see one person that is not self-centered but is actually other-centered? Is there a person that can see a glimpse of Christ because I traded in some time to follow the leading of the Spirit? Is my impact to cause a difference in the life of others, who then will make their own impact in the lives of others and so on and so on. Is that not the true meaning of significance?

What opportunities have been laid out before me but my weak eyes and ears were not open to comprehend? Lord, open my eyes to let me see, open my ears to let me hear, open my heart to let me feel. Show me the moments I need to step outside of this skin and make a difference.

Journal on Journal

A couple of years ago, was introduced the tool of journaling. Just started using this blog to as an electronic means last month. Still do some writing in the old fashion book form and not sure that I shouldn’t stay on paper. However, have always been incredibly amazed at how this discipline can be used by God to help connect the dots in my life. Showing how various scripture or events actually tie together.

Sometimes I have mulled over and over a subject in my mind for days. Other times I just pickup the pen (or hit the keyboard) with no subject in mind. Not planning any direction where this one may go but willing to put words down in anticipation of where they may lead. First step of any entry is the most difficult. Changing from still to moving. Inertia – bodies at rest tend/want to stay at rest. While the reverse is also true – bodies in motion tend/want to stay in motion.

How often I sit with no thought, no time, no inspiration – but once the first words form the next ones begin to pile up waiting on their turn to move from consideration to find their place in the sentence. This seems to be true within a single writing or from day to day. Too often going long periods of time without opening myself up to let God organize my heart by putting them in a readable form.

So many things in my life are like that first letter. It is out there, I know I need to make the time, find the effort and change my inertia. My life is full of spiritual inertia. When I am at stop in my relationship with God, I tend to stay there. On the other hand, there is no joy or peace in my life like that when my relationship flows. Moving easily from one experience with God to the next. If only I could stop stopping and stay moving.